It's a Sign of the Times

In a startling development this evening, a Camas family was alarmed to find promotional signage adorning their front yard in what appears to be an act of minor mischief. A local AP photographer snapped an image of who he believes to be the Camas Perp, and an accomplice, defacing the immaculately landscaped yard. This is the first act authorities are pegging to the Camas Perp since November of last year, when the Perp was seen defacing a strikingly similar-styled home to the one targeted this evening. Authorities believe the Perp's crime syndicate is growing and much more developed than a year ago, citing the increased manpower used for this act and the speed with which they operated, narrowly avoiding authorities hot on their tail.

In an ironic twist to the crime, the home attacked this evening is that of a local business man who has recently been featured in the news for his work at eradicating the promotional business signs that litter the streets of Camas - the same signs that now litter his yard! The authorities were very impressed with the resourcefulness of the Perp as the signs are difficult to find these days, and he must have had to travel long distances to find such gems.

Identification of the two suspects is under investigation, however, police do not believe a positive id can be made anytime soon...

Local Homeowner Cries Fowl

Pink Flamingos in Camas, WA, you say? Local AP reporter snapped these shots at the scene of what appeared to be an invasion of renegade pink flamingos protesting the conservation of fish. A sign stating 'Fish R Food not fiends!' was placed at the Macia family compound, on the western edge of Camas. Interestingly enough, millions of goldfish were laid to rest on the porch of the unsuspecting family, laid rotting and beginning to stench of cheddar cheese and starch. A cleanup crew was released to attend to the invasion and its residual mess, however, the flamingos were quarantined for evalutation and diagnosis of 'Bird Flu.'

Could this be related to the recent Camas Perp incident? Further investigation to follow...

Caught in the Act! The Camas Perp strikes!

November 8, 2008

Camas, WA

Subject seen here was photographed by an AP photographer while in the act of spreading toilet tissue (Charmin, no doubt) across the yard of an absent resident on Dahlia St. in Camas this evening. An eyewitness claimed to have heard the Perp shout 'trout need love too!' before running off. The motive behind this action is not known, however speculation amongst neighbors has the hood buzzing with suspicion. One neighbor, not wanting to be named, stated, "The Mays are home most nights so I am not clear how the Perp knew of them being gone." Mrs. Weis continued, "Unless someone that is with them tonight told the Perp of their absence..."

Police were notified of the action and are in hot pursuit of the Camas Perp, however we think this one may go unsolved, unless he strikes again, which he probably will, 'cause he seems crafty like that.